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...and that proves what an idiot men are...
"The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary." Vidal Sassoon, 1928 - 2012
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I know someone who downloads pretty much anything and everything he can find (whether he's got a use for it or not) because, the way he describes it, he's paying for the bandwidth anyway, so he might as well keep his router busy downloading stuff all the time.
I'm told being married is the same--she married you to do things she can't/won't do herself, and she hates to see you not being busy.
I'm guessing the key to a happy marriage is to make sure you always look busy.
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I picked up a few items for lunch at the cafeteria and there was this cashier woman who took my payment. The cutlery box is usually just beside the till, which I found only had forks and knives. I immediately had an ear-to-ear smile, and told her with gleeful eyes: "There is no spoon" (I did my best with the voice).
The lady said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", started backing away and went straight into the kitchen and shrieked "somebody bring the spoons from the dishwasher, please". She must have taken me either for some kind of a psycho creep, or a en entitled prick.
I giggled at the dude behind me in line, and said "I can't believe there was a real-life scenario that let me tell someone 'there is no spoon', but I think she unfortunately didn't get it".
This dude's face turned almost pale, and he responded confusingly: "Sorry mate, the cutlery comes from the dishwasher and the staff could sometimes be behind in replenishing it at the front. You could drop in a complaints/compliments form on the box as you go out". 
/FML
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That movie is old enough by now that you may as well have stared at her and intoned: "Rosebud"
"Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity."
- Hanlon's Razor
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These are not the spoon you were looking for, I am afraid! 
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Indeed, those weren't the ones. 
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Sigh. Welcome to foot in mouth disease. I almost see my wife glaring at me. Tomorrow, bring her a pack of spoons and flowers with a note explaining. It will really go a long way.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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The spoon is a lie ...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Just a red one and a blue one - you choose.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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The red one is a spoon - the blue one is a spinner - what's the catch?
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I see you've played Knifey-Spoony before!
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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No - a little mumble(t)y peg maybe...
...but hey fork that. Or is there a fork? Or... could it be that...
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There is a fork - it's the one that says "Bad Motherf***er".
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Tiney implement sounds rude (?)
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How many letters?
Hang on, didn't we do that one ... and what's that groundhog doing?
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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42
There is no woodchuck.
There is no done.
There is only do.
73
-30-
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Two symbols: 4 Q
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E.
Comport Computing
Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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Whenever I go into the office and see that our Configuration Manager is not here, I am tempted to say There is no Spoon.
Well, his name is Rick Spoon, so...
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I've seen things you woodchucks wouldn't believe. Attack hamsters on fire off the shoulder of Oracle. I watched C-Sharps glitter in the dark near the Maunder Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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My favourite movie.
...although "A Matter of Life and Death", starring David Niven, comes really close.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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OK, I give up. Is this an 'in' joke that only a certain class of people will get?
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You'd be 'in', had you watched the Matrix trilogy. It's not too late. 
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