You are right, this is a real problem. But this is not a simple problem, because Web is primarily based on
client-server model, which means
pull technology.
Please see my past answers for some background and ideas:
Application 'dashboard' for website accounts[
^].
Anyway, if you decide not to fight for server push solution and opt for traditional database polling, my other past answer can give you some idea how to suffer less from such problems:
Polling Database with Timer[
^].
—SA