Have
one person table to store
all people and one table to store all the references. Before deleting a person record, delete all the references.
Person
Name ...
Alice ...
Bob ...
Reference
From To ...
Alice Bob ...
(I would never use names (or other strings) as IDs, but you get the idea.)
The reference table can also hold an indicator of what type of reference it is -- such as emergency contact, or authorized buyer, or whatever you need.