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This is NOT simple question post.
Yes it is.
Connection refused: the target system did not accept a connection request. The actual reason can only be found by inspecting the system which refused the connection. Maybe the two partners were not paired correctly, part of the address was incorrect etc.
Connection timed out: the target system just did not respond. Most likely because the connection request was not addressed to the correct place.
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I am looking for somewhat official description of BOTH of these messages.
If you want the official answer then please refer to the relevant RFCs.